He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
