By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize