I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
