Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
