so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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