it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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