My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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