Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You made out with two different species that night
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
