She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
