puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
