She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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