Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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