What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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