see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize
