I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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