i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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