I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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