I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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