Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
