I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
