Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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