You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
