dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
