Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
