ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
