Quick, to the slutcave!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
