It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
