so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize