Is it because I queefed?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
