nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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