are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
