It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize