I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
