he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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