i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
