Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
