You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
