is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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