Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
