I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
