I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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