she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
