we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
