i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
