all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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