Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
