Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
