I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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