i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
