ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
