There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
