so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
