My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize