Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
