So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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