the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He has the fingertips of a God
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