I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
