last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
