I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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