I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize