you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
wow bdsm is so cute
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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