My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
