You made me cry and you don't even care
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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