May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
