what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
