Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
